Finding Your Happy Place

I didn’t exactly know where I belonged for so long. Even though I grew up in Southern California, I didn’t grow up with money or with a family that traveled the world. Growing up, I’d hear my friend’s stories of their cruise trips and vacations to Europe or the Bahamas. I had never seen the world like them. I had seen Buffalo, New York, Arizona, Niagara Falls and Mammoth Mountain to be exact.

This longing for the chance to travel, to leave, to go anywhere else but where I was consumed me. I filled my mind with the thought that I didn’t know when or where I would go, but I knew that I would work so hard until I got the chance to leave my small town.

And then I fell in love.

See I fell in love with this boy who was independent. He lived on his own, was a Junior in college and was extremely smart, hilarious and caring.

I found myself mesmerized by him. And then, after just one month, he told me he was leaving America to live in Barcelona for a third of the year.

I had known him for all of maybe two months, but I knew with all my heart that I loved him. I knew that this would be worth waiting for.

Here I was, a girl presented with an opportunity to create a memory completely of her own.

So, despite hundreds of people- and even sometimes a part of myself, I decided that I would wait for him to come back for four months, and book a thousand dollar plane ticket to visit him after 3 and a half.

And so I waited.

Three and a half months went by of poor quality facetiming, and three hours a day of mutual time zone communication.

The day finally came for me to fly across the country by myself.

I boarded the plane and flew to see this boy, butterflies in my stomach. This week was one of the best weeks of my life. I saw Barcelona, Paris, London! I saw a new world! Suddenly my life changed. This boy had made me a traveler.

After Europe soon came Mexico, then New York City, then Hawaii, then Thailand, then Hong Kong. All with him. We had so much fun experiencing foreign culture together, learning new lifestyles. We took sketchy rides from Thai men in trucks to get back to our hotel. I hugged him tight while he zipped through the streets of Phuket on a scooter bike. We dove into underwater caves together in Mexico and rubbed weird sand clay on our faces.

And then it ended.

When our relationship ended, I lost not only my best friend, but my travel companion. Things felt so empty.

It took me a little, but I finally decided to travel again without him. It was odd at first, but then I realized something;

Relationships ending make you see that all the things you thought you’d only ever be able to do with one person, you can and will do with new people. People who love you. Friends, family, new crushes. It seems like it’s impossible to move on with your life when you got so used to assigning your happiness to a person.

So I surfed in Oahu. I built a snowman in Tahoe. I went on tour! I touched The Bean in Chicago!

I love to travel. My old best friend helped me find that passion. Him leaving did not take my love of traveling with him.

And so, I continue to travel as many days out of the year that I can. I still am the girl who longs to go anywhere but where I am settled. My happy place is everywhere that I have not yet explored. It brings me so much joy!

I encourage everyone to find your passion, find the places that you fall in love with, and don’t be afraid to find these places with people who fill your life with happiness right now. Don’t be afraid of making memories for the fear that one day the people you shared them with won’t be with you anymore. This is all part of the beautiful journey we call life. People come in and out of it, but memories of happy times will last forever.




Eva Gutowski

YouTube sensation Eva Gutowski (better known as MyLifeAsEva) is a fashion, lifestyle and comedy vlogger with over 3 Million YouTube Subscribers and 5M followers across social media. Each week, Eva shares room-decorating tips, Tumblr-inspired outfits, day-in-the-life videos, and more.

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  • Bailee Abell

    Love this post, Eva! You are so positive and honest.

  • Janill Martinez

    Beautiful post! Loved this!

  • Pareen

    This post is really inspiring. I’m glad you looked on the brighter side of things! 🙂

  • Vanessa Benford

    Awww how sweet:) I love you! I love you and Andrew together but I know things happen for the best. All I want is for you to be happy!!! You are awesome Eva:)

  • Laura Mareno

    This post is so so inspiring!! I love traveling too!! Some day I will be able to do it more often!! I really enjoyed reading your story!!! kisses:D

  • Kahlan Joy

    WOW Eva! I am so impressed. This might have gotten me a little teary. Thanks for being such an amazing person that brings me so much joy!!! Love, Kahlan

  • Su

    I relate to this a lot. The only place I’ve been other than SoCal is Mexicali, and that isn’t much. I so want to go somewhere new and do something new, even though I love SoCal. Where, what, and with who…I don’t know yet. But reading this just reassures me I’ll get my chance someday. Thank you Eva! As Belle said “I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell.”

  • Olivia

    you couldn’t have written anything better than this, great blog Eva!

  • Camille

    Eva your blog posts are so great!! I love reading your blog!! Thanks for being confident and sharing a piece of confidence with all your viewers!!

  • Simona Šrámková

    OMG! Travel vibes <3 All your posts are soo great but this one is soo inspiring. I just love this. Your life is goals! I love travelling too. I travel pretty a lot but you know I didn't find my "happy place" yet but I hope I will find it. I live in Czech Republic and I think here it isn't interesting. So when i get older I wanna travel to California and live there (I hope with my crush. He love CA too <3). So yes this is my dream and I really don't know why I writing this to you 😀 Love you Eva <3!

  • Sunny Zhao

    lifestyle is really different between the U.S ang China. However i like ur lifesyle~ I just want to be a girl who love her life.

  • Deema

    I love this post so much. It really helped me with a similar problem I have. Continue to travel Eva!!! Traveling is amazing. Also, I recommend visiting Egypt 🙂 it’s beautiful!

  • India H.

    This was beautiful! I admire your drive to work hard and travel like you so wanted to do, and the fact that you achieved that goal is so inspiring!

  • Sofia Prado Martinez

    Please help me to make my Blogger dream come true like Eva check out everyday and my Instagram: sophiephilosophie1998.

  • Monika Kristjánsdóttir

    Hi, my name is Monika. I love that post <33 Please check out my new blog : –It means a lot for me–

  • Stacie

    That was like really awesome and real. Love how you can inspire people like this. keep doin’ what you’re doin’ because what you’re doing is pretty awesome.

  • Sierra sparkle pants

    So deep . All your articles all together would make for a great book.
    Eva you are ever thing I want to be but I can’t be you cuz I’m me and that is all I can be and when I found you I wad so happy even thogh I cant be you so keep making peopel like me happy.

  • Joanne

    Eva, you’re an amazing person and this post is so inpspiring!
    you can feel that every single word in this post comes from your heart and litterally every word in this post is so true!
    you are the person that always inspires and motivates me to follow my dreams, no matter what.
    I love you so so soooo much and thank you for everything!!♥♥

  • Wow… This post honestly really touched me. Your last paragraph seriously hit home. My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. This year, we graduate high school and go off to college. Although this is super exciting, we are going to attend different colleges at least three hours away from each other. You really have a great way of looking at things that I could definitely learn from! Thank you for this post!

  • Bella

    You made me thinking about life and how I can work for succes. It may be difficult but thanks to you I am going to try untill I break and when that happen I will just rise again. Thank you so much Eva you are an amazing person!

  • Carolina

    You made me think with this, I always heard my friends talking about where they are going on holidays but this inspired me to work for what I want if I worked hard I know that some day I’m gonna travel around the world.
    Thanks Eva,Love you

  • charlene forde

    thinking about what you said made me realize that i’m someone who’s always wanted to travel a lot my friends always talked about how much they travel and i had nothing to say cause I’ve never traveled before but right now Eva i’m gonna work hard for what i want cause traveling is something i want really bad and i know that God is gonna help me through and some day i wanna meet you and be friends.

  • Zander Sisco

    I can really relate to this post, and it helps to know that I can and will finda new friend in the big big world. My best friend and I got into a fight about two weeks ago, and I haven’t talked to her since – and she’s moved on. From what I’ve seen, you just have to try new things, like eat somewhere different for lunch or sit in a different seat in class! In all honesty, this post (and all your others) are inspiration, because I feel the same way. I may just be a freshman in high school, but this isn’t where I want to stay, and I want to go everywhere I can. Thanks Eva c:

  • savannah

    Eva your so insparational i dont know how you can be so like that im not aloud to watch you on youtube but you will still be in my mind untill i turn 18 and get to do what i want

    • lucykempl

      why would you not be able to watch eva on youtube? are you restricted from youtube completely or just certain channels? sorry if that is too personal!

  • Kristina

    I recently found your youtube channel and now this. And I wanted to say that your positive and energetic way of communicating or writing give so much joy to me! I want to travel so bad!! But somehow there is alway something in my way that keeps me in my homeland. I’m scared, I don’t have money and etc. Now sitting in the bed and reading this I was carried to an amazing place where everything seemed possible. Your story encouraged me to stay determined and no matter what to find my happy place. Thank you!

  • lucykempl

    Eva, I understand how you feel. Wherever I travel, i get this feeling and it doesn’t go away. i feel like i am finally where i belong. its weird i feel home in foreign countries i know nothing about. i have not traveled much but i know that when i grow up, i wanna be just like you!


    EVA, your is so amazing whats go on RIGHT NOW was your childhood i love your channel i love you HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND DAY, BYEE

  • Benj Montgomery

    I can’t believe you don’t blog a lot!!! I recently found your blog. I actually have been following your YouTube channel for quite sometime now. I’m a blogger myself and to see my fave YouTube guru writing feels so nice! It’s like I’m getting to know you on a personal level. Keep writing, Eva. You are meant for it! Love from the Philippines 🙂

  • Kam

    How were you able to travel so many places at a young age? That’s one thing I haven’t been able to put my hands on.


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